don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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