oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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