I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Everyone says I win the strip club
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Shame - the story of my life.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
