then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
