ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
