I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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