i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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