What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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