we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
