I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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