Porn is love you can see.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And then my night got REAL pukey
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
