The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's always time for handjobs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
