I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
