the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
