I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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