I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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