How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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