We're facebook friends in real life
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
