Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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