Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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