I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
