highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize