Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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