i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize