kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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