So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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