Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
