i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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