He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that