i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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