That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
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she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.