You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's rum buckets o'clock
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
