I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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