so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
