I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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