Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
