Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
