Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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