I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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