I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
