i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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