Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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