i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
