is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
