Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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