So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think people are normalizing furries
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
