I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
