if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
