What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize