she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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