Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
