i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
