Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
