can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
