that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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