See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
