i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
