You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
