3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
