tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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