god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
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the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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