But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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