so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All the doctor said was why
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
